If I Were Capable
by amberpire
Summary: She wanted to be the candle that would melt Raven's frozen soul. Even if that meant risking everything; she was determined. Nothing, not even Raven's sharp words of protest that cut her like any blade, would distract her from this goal. ;Starfire/Raven;


[AN: Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, Cartoon Network does. RavenxStarfire oneshot, enjoy.]

**If I Were Capable**

"When will you return?" Starfire sat up, clutching Raven's black sheets over her naked chest. She yearned for that cold touch. It was only in the seclusion of the covers that Raven allowed herself to give in to the desires of lust.

Raven didn't pause or even acknowledge that Starfire had spoken. It was the most irritating thing about the purple-haired girl. Well, the second most irritating thing.

Love makes you accepting.

Raven draped a dark cloak over her shoulders and stopped before her mirror, staring into her reflection. Lavender eyes, hollow and empty, bounced back.

"Raven?" Starfire tried again, accustomed to being ignored. The alien obviously had patience beyond that of an average human. It bewildered Raven almost as much as it did Starfire.

Love makes you patient.

"I don't know," Raven replied tonelessly, her voice sounding more like an echo than anything with substance.

"Where are you going?" Starfire felt silly badgering the Titan like a worried mother bird, but she couldn't help herself.

Love makes you worry.

"Out," was all Raven said, her expression carefully neutral as she turned from the mirror and toward the door.

"Wait!" Starfire reached for her, as if somehow from across the room, the red-haired Titan could bring Raven back to their – Raven's – bed.

Love makes you delusional.

Raven, again, opened the door as if she hadn't heard Starfire.

Starfire, all eyebrows and a creased forehead of concern, a foreign bubble of emotions, blurted, "I love you."

That _did_ stop Raven. It stopped her every time. Silence hung between them like a black heavy curtain. Finally, with her back remaining to the other female, Raven spoke. "Why do you keep saying that?" Her tone revealed nothing of any emotions she might be feeling; like everything she said, it was empty.

Starfire swallowed hard, the hand that wasn't hiding her breasts running uneasily through her thick hair. "Because it is true."

Raven turned. Her expression was blank, a pale sheet of stone with only the accents of a face. The slightly plum-colored lips moved, but no indication of the feelings behind them pulled at the muscles. "Do you think that I will ever say them back to you?"

Starfire opened her mouth, but there was no breath to vibrate the vocal cords in her throat and thus make speech. Raven's words were so cold, so painful, that it took all of her strength not to burst into tears.

Love makes you strong.

"We just made love, Raven." She pointedly ignored the other girl's question.

Raven gave a sharp shake of her head. Purple hair brushed her jawline. "We had sex. There is a difference."

Starfire felt her chest crush.

Love makes you weak.

The alien was used to this treatment, but it didn't make it any easier to hear the girl you were in love with more or less say you were just a body and sex to her. "I still love you."

"Why?" A rarity. Raven's eyebrows twitched downward. Starfire clung to this just like every other expression that flitted through the girl. She saw them as signs that maybe Raven was melting; that with each brief emotion that passed over her face, a chunk of ice fell away. The short expression was not anger. It was simple curiosity, as if Raven genuinely did not understand why the other Titan cared so much.

Honestly, Starfire didn't know, either.

Love makes you confused.

Starfire met Raven's depthless eyes. "I just do. I cannot explain it."

Raven's eyebrows smoothed again, all traces of the expression erased. "I cannot love you, Starfire. I am too dark. You know that."

Starfire nodded. "I do." And she did know that. She had known that for quite some time. But that didn't phase her. Not at all.

Love makes you reckless.

"That does not change my feelings," Starfire added softly. She wanted to be the candle that would melt Raven's frozen soul. Even if that meant risking everything; she was determined. Nothing, not even Raven's sharp words of protest that cut her like any blade, would distract her from this goal.

Love makes you stubborn.

"Very well." Raven turned away from her again and took a step out, only to hesitate. Starfire stared, not even breathing as she waited for her love's next move. It was very unlike Raven to pause, to hesitate, to not have thought something through. It nearly strangled Starfire with anticipation.

Raven flicked a gaze over her shoulder. Like every other facial movement she made, it was careful and completely void of all feeling. A cold, dead stare. "However," her monotone voice carried on the breath of her exhale to the high strung alien across the room. "If I were capable…" Her head turned again so the lips Starfire yearned to kiss faced away, though the other female had no trouble hearing her. "If I were capable, I would love you with every cell in my body." And with that, she was gone, the door clicking softly behind her.

Love makes you hurt.

But love also gives you hope, that one day, there will be relief.

Starfire curled into Raven's damp scent and whispered to the space she had previously occupied. "I believe you are capable."


End file.
